Being nice is not being kind
Are you polite or kind?
Today we’ll be talking about:
The difference of being nice to being kind.
Shame correlated to being nice.
Ways to be kind.
Before that there’s been some miscalculation.
There’s has been a BIG problem.
People hate themselves not realizing that they are not themselves
The answer might seem obvious but it’s not.
If you are on self-improvement I know that you want to become better because you hate your current self. The fact that you want to become greater approves that point.
What’s the relation?
Is kindness self-improvement?
Is being nice not self-improvement?
I’ll leave that up to you.
But I know that you’ve had the experience of what it feels like to be a people pleaser You would say YES even if your mind said NO.
Then what happens?
You start hating.
Who?
The people?
No.
Your SELF
You get taken advantage of.
You get shamed if you said no.
You feel guilty while in reality you shouldn’t be.
Of course you would hate yourself. Because you’re not yourself. What other explanation could there be?
That's the equivalent of your parents forcing you to be a doctor even if you don’t want to. Asian kids can relate.
So what do we do?
Is there no way out?
There is.
Let’s start with:
1. The difference of being nice to being kind.
What do you see?
A man and a man bowing. Why?
Because it’s formal manners.
There’s nothing wrong with it.
But what if you don’t bow?
You’ll most likely be labeled rude.
That’s how messed up it can be.
There’s half of your answer because that is how must of us live. Forcing to be nice to people who are not kind to us. Enduring it day by day to maintain that positive relationship that’s been killing you inside out.
But what about this?
See that smile on the kid and on the father?
That’s what being kind is.
You feel loved.
You don’t have to show it. Kindness itself can be felt. No need to please.
What’s the BIG difference?
Being nice has no emotions.
Kindness is an expression of love.
That’s why shame has no place in that word.
Let’s talk about that.
2.Shame correlated to being nice.
When you start to please people more, you start to do things you hate. In that process of being a people pleaser you start to lose yourself.
How?
You start to become someone you’re not.
Forced to do things for people you don’t like
People that never appreciate you.
Leaving you devastated
The negativity loop happens
Eventually you develop feelings of resentment
That acts as your venting mechanism
That’s what you become:
A big mess of lines that has no direction.
People pleasing is equally dangerous to depression.
Often more overlooked.
Like the lines in the image, you are pulled in a million of directions. Not knowing where or what is waiting for you. I hope you understand that well.
Kindness is your answer. Let’s dive deep into that.
3. Ways to be kind.
1. Start using the magic words
Please
Thank you
You’re welcome
I’m sorry/forgive me
When was the last time you said forgive me for I have caused you pain?
The more you use the magic words. The more you get better.
If you do, your relationships will thank you and will improve drastically. Be humble and start doing the change to make the change.
2. Be kind to your self
Have some respect to yourself to be selfish enough to know what’s enough.
Forgive yourself.
Let the past be the past
Say thank you more often
Walk away from people that are snakes.
Stop being around people that shames your progress.
Start doing healthy habits. Your future health, guts, skin, eyes, ankles, ligaments, joints, and muscles will thank you.
3. Be genuine
Stop being fake. That’s the best way you can be kind.
Fair enough don’t be disrespectful but BE KIND
Remember to:
Show love
Appreciate, do not flatter
Stop being a people pleaser
Do what you want not what others want
Be KIND
That’s all I can give you for this week. Thank you for reading
NOTABLE NOMAD
June 28, 2024
PS: Leave a comment below and let me know what you think of this weeks letter or reply to this email.
